Night after night, the disruptive alarm on my cell phone reminds me of something I am suppose to be doing. Sharply at 8:30pm, I am given a bold reminder with two simple words: "Write Blog" Being a girl, you would think this would be a simple task. After all, girls love to talk and I am no exception to that stereotype. I often become a Facebook stalker, inspecting post after post, hoping that something will spark a train of thought in my head and inspire me to have something to say.
Tonight I saw a post that read:
"There will be so many times you feel like you've failed. But in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child, you are supermom.
What is on my mind tonight is the possibility of moving, again. I desperately want to have a place of our own that my kids can identify as "home." I hear stories all the time that start with, "The house I grew up in..."
When I was a kid, we had a house my mom rented when I was younger that I don't remember a whole lot about. I think it was white and had a pretty big yard, or at least that is the image that comes to mind when I think about it. I very vividly remember the huge mulberry tree in the front yard, probably because of playing outside barefoot and constantly coming in with purple feet. I loved to pick the mulberries but I never ate them. I only have a few really happy memories in that house. I remember playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" and climbing up really high in a tree where no one could find me. I waited, watching everyone, for a long while before climbing down. I didn't want to give away such an awesome place to hide. I remember the hole in the floor where my mom's bed leg broke through. I remember my neighbor's house across the street. I loved to go there to play; their daughter had everything "Barbie" you could possibly imagine. I felt safe there.
We then moved to a house that my grandfather, "Papa" built. Papa was the best grandfather a girl could hope for. I remember cuddling with him, hanging out with him. I remember the way he used his middle finger to point things out. I remember his garden in the back yard that he worked in all the time. I remember a basement full of collected rocks, and trees made out of copper wires adhered to smoothed out rocks that looked like they had crystals in them, animals glued to the bottom. I remember thin green carpeting that had no padding what so ever and yellow walls and an unfinished basement. I remember playing "500" and "Running Bases" in the yard and the insane flooding that would happen after every horrendous downpour. I remember, after Papa passed away, once again not feeling safe.
After my mom's last divorce, we moved from apartment, to house, to apartment and suddenly I was grown with little to no real sense of "home." As a young adult, I continued to move around -- relationships would end that were no longer working, friendships would break down where suddenly, time after time, I would find myself in search of a new place to live. There were times my only address was "staying with friends" where some nights, many nights, I really wasn't sure where I was going to sleep. I remember the sense of accomplishment I felt when I finally had my own apartment, in my name, and no one could take it away from me. It felt good to have a key to a door where my things and I resided without disruption.
I see myself repeating some of the patterns I saw growing up and I know these are not the experiences I want to impress into my children's minds. We had a house for a while, I think for four or five years. It was a fixer upper that we grew out of once my first son started to get bigger. We moved into a much better house, but it was short lived. We weren't there more than a couple of years before I found myself getting a divorce and having no other choice but to move. The house was far too expensive for me to handle solo.
I moved myself and my then two children five-hundred miles away from everything we knew. We moved from a big, beautiful, spacious house with an adorable fenced in back yard into an apartment away from everyone we knew. We stayed there for a couple of years, and then I made a hasty decision, and moved into an apartment that had an indoor pool and a little bit more square footage. I envisioned all the fun we would have being able to swim all year around, and the playground and picnic tables outside we would build memories around. Now the pool is gone along with the picnic tables and the playground. Reality wasn't even close to the picture that the previous manager of this property had painted for me before moving in. We have stuck it out for almost two years, and now I find myself thinking about moving...again.
I don't want to be the mom that moves her kids every couple of years. I know what it felt like to switch schools, sometimes in the middle of a school year and I don't want to push those experiences onto my kids. What do I do. I want a home where my family can bond and grow and love. The rent has been increased and the perks have gone away. Do I move us again, perhaps BACK to where we used to live in an effort to be able to save more money and be able to purchase a home quicker? My oldest daughter is twelve-years-old, she only has so many years left with me at "home." She deserves stability, they all do. I feel an overwhelming need to provide this for them. Do the means of moving again justify the end result I am hoping for, preparing for? Or, is it just another move?
I don't know what to do.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Another Wintery Mix?
The last thing I wanted to hear in the weather forecast was to expect another wintery mix headed our way. One of the benefits I look forward to enjoying having moved from Illinois (close to the Wisconsin border) to Missouri is less severe winters, less snow accumulation. Granted, we definitely get less snow, but Missouri ice storms are no joke! It looks like starting in the wee hours of the morning we will bet getting just that. Perhaps someone needs to advise Mother Nature that we are two days away from the beginning of March! Please, no more snow, no more ice, and no more wintery mixes!
I look forward to the things we can expect in the springtime. I want to hear birds chirping; I want to see flowers blooming and grass returning to its vibrant shades of green. I want to wear cute sandals and play outside with my kids. I want to surround my balcony with pretty flowers and a decorated set of table and chairs. I look forward to sitting outside soaking up the sun's rays while doing homework instead of being stuck inside under artificial lighting. I miss walking at the park, kicking a ball around outside, playing catch, and cooking out on the grill.
I want to pack away winter coats and hats, gloves and scarves, extra thick blankets and big wet boots. I don't want to have to dress in layers and wear thick, fat socks. I don't want to argue with my son about the fact that he wants to run outside in just a hoodie and shoes or have to remind my daughter, for the one-hundredth time to remember to bring her coat home and not leave it in her locker at school.
I want Spring to arrive.
I look forward to the things we can expect in the springtime. I want to hear birds chirping; I want to see flowers blooming and grass returning to its vibrant shades of green. I want to wear cute sandals and play outside with my kids. I want to surround my balcony with pretty flowers and a decorated set of table and chairs. I look forward to sitting outside soaking up the sun's rays while doing homework instead of being stuck inside under artificial lighting. I miss walking at the park, kicking a ball around outside, playing catch, and cooking out on the grill.
I want to pack away winter coats and hats, gloves and scarves, extra thick blankets and big wet boots. I don't want to have to dress in layers and wear thick, fat socks. I don't want to argue with my son about the fact that he wants to run outside in just a hoodie and shoes or have to remind my daughter, for the one-hundredth time to remember to bring her coat home and not leave it in her locker at school.
I want Spring to arrive.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
The Alien
I have diastasis recti. If you have never heard of this, you are not alone. Join my club! I hadn't either until a surgeon identified it for me. This all started when I was pregnant with my two-year-old son. Basically, I have a really big lump in my stomach that has been there since I was pregnant. We have affectionately dubbed it "The Alien." I actually thought it was the fetus growing inside me, until after he was born and it was still there. I had never had a c-section before, so then I convinced myself that things were just out of place and needed time to go back to normal. When I tighten my abdominal area, this big lump rises to the surface. When I say big, I mean larger than a grapefruit but smaller than a watermelon.
This disorder is defined as a separation of the rectus abdominis muscle into right and left halves. In terms that I can understand, my ab muscles are all stretched out and instead of being at the front of my abdomen, they have been pulled apart and are residing somewhere along the left and right outer sides of my abdomen area. Women are more susceptible to developing this condition when pregnant over the age of 35, high birth weight of child, multiple birth pregnancy, and multiple pregnancies. The only one of those that doesn't apply to me is the multiple birth pregnancy, only one at a time for me!
Supposedly, this is a "cosmetic" condition. Although there is no association with morbidity, I have to say, it is not just a cosmetic annoyance. I have some real symptoms that come along with having this condition. I have always had a sensitive stomach and that may perhaps have something do to with it. I experience everything from nausea, dizziness, abdominal pain (both moderate and extreme), among other things. It's not fun.
Until recently, the only procedure they had for fixing this condition yielded less than stellar results and some patients were not very pleased with their outcome. Thankfully, there is a new procedure that is still fairly new that my surgeon learned about at a medical conference. It was actually developed as a better way to repair hernias, but it also just so happens to correct diastasis recti as well!
I look forward to one day not having to worry about the unfortunate symptoms that seem to constantly come up with this condition. I want a "normal" tummy free of lumps and aliens. For now I need to concentrate on not angering the alien and trying to lose weight so that recovery from the necessary surgery to fix it will be easier. That in itself is its own struggle but I am determined to figure it out.
This disorder is defined as a separation of the rectus abdominis muscle into right and left halves. In terms that I can understand, my ab muscles are all stretched out and instead of being at the front of my abdomen, they have been pulled apart and are residing somewhere along the left and right outer sides of my abdomen area. Women are more susceptible to developing this condition when pregnant over the age of 35, high birth weight of child, multiple birth pregnancy, and multiple pregnancies. The only one of those that doesn't apply to me is the multiple birth pregnancy, only one at a time for me!
Supposedly, this is a "cosmetic" condition. Although there is no association with morbidity, I have to say, it is not just a cosmetic annoyance. I have some real symptoms that come along with having this condition. I have always had a sensitive stomach and that may perhaps have something do to with it. I experience everything from nausea, dizziness, abdominal pain (both moderate and extreme), among other things. It's not fun.
Until recently, the only procedure they had for fixing this condition yielded less than stellar results and some patients were not very pleased with their outcome. Thankfully, there is a new procedure that is still fairly new that my surgeon learned about at a medical conference. It was actually developed as a better way to repair hernias, but it also just so happens to correct diastasis recti as well!
I look forward to one day not having to worry about the unfortunate symptoms that seem to constantly come up with this condition. I want a "normal" tummy free of lumps and aliens. For now I need to concentrate on not angering the alien and trying to lose weight so that recovery from the necessary surgery to fix it will be easier. That in itself is its own struggle but I am determined to figure it out.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Best "Valentine's Day" Date EVER
I don't remember if Daddy asked me what I wanted to do for Valentine's Day or if I just offered the information, but today was the day! My guy, as I have mentioned before, has a job that keeps him out of town a lot. Sometimes holidays and special events happen that we celebrate either early or late depending on when he is home.
For us, today was our Valentine's Day. As we walked to the car, I felt excited and nervous. As we drove we talked about little every day things and just enjoyed being together. The palms of my hands began to perspire before we reached our destination. My heart seemed to beat a little faster when he told me we were only a few miles away. As we pulled in and parked, I could feel my heart beating in my chest. We were at the shooting range.
I have fired a gun one other time in my life. I was about twelve-years-old and I was standing in my backyard that bordered an empty field. My step-dad handed me his shotgun. I don't remember what it felt like to pull the trigger, but I do remember that I landed on my bottom and fashioned a bruise on my shoulder for a short time after that day.
As we conversed with the friendly, helpful man behind the counter, I peered over his shoulder and through the windows behind him that provided a view of the shooting lanes. I was incredibly nervous and yet able to concentrate on his every word. I paid close attention to his explanation of their procedures. We were handed the weapon of our choosing, two boxes of ammo and silhouette targets, three for two dollars. As instructed, we walked over to the first set of doors that led to our destination. We fashioned our eye and ear protection before entering the first set of doors. Open the first doors and go in. Completely shut those doors before going through the second set of doors. Walk along the wall. With each step, we got closer to lane number nine.
My guy showed me how to load the clip of the 40-calibur handgun we were going to be working with. He was wonderfully patient with me and explained each step of what to do, how to do it, and what not to do. It was my turn to shoot. The excitement slightly overpowered my nerves. I loaded the clip and put the clip into the gun. As I cocked the gun, a sudden realization of the huge responsibility I am holding in my hand is very real. In my head I am reminding myself to always point the weapon down the lane. If I so much as wanted to turn around, I was to lay the gun on the counter in front of me.
As I raised my arms to aim at the little red bulls eye that resided in the head of the silhouette target, my arms began to shake. I did my best to steady myself. I aimed with both eyes open, not having a clue of what to expect when I pulled the trigger. Would the weapon fly out of my hands? Was I holding it tight enough? Was I holding it too tight? What I should have asked myself, or perhaps my partner was: "What do I do with my left hand?"
BOOM!
I stood there for a second, then sat the gun down and looked at my left hand. My thumb was bleeding but just a little bit. I don't know what the different parts of the gun are called, but I think the top part that slides caught my thumb and caused some very superficial scratches. I then watched Daddy and he showed me how to wrap my left hand around the bottom of the gun. Over the next hour or so, we took turns filling the clip and taking aim. Before the end of our outing I had hit three bulls eyes; one was at ten feet and the other two at fifteen feet. I was able to hit the target at twenty feet and even forty feet.
We plan to go back the range on a regular basis to allow me time to gain skill and confidence. I think Daddy was impressed.
For us, today was our Valentine's Day. As we walked to the car, I felt excited and nervous. As we drove we talked about little every day things and just enjoyed being together. The palms of my hands began to perspire before we reached our destination. My heart seemed to beat a little faster when he told me we were only a few miles away. As we pulled in and parked, I could feel my heart beating in my chest. We were at the shooting range.
I have fired a gun one other time in my life. I was about twelve-years-old and I was standing in my backyard that bordered an empty field. My step-dad handed me his shotgun. I don't remember what it felt like to pull the trigger, but I do remember that I landed on my bottom and fashioned a bruise on my shoulder for a short time after that day.
As we conversed with the friendly, helpful man behind the counter, I peered over his shoulder and through the windows behind him that provided a view of the shooting lanes. I was incredibly nervous and yet able to concentrate on his every word. I paid close attention to his explanation of their procedures. We were handed the weapon of our choosing, two boxes of ammo and silhouette targets, three for two dollars. As instructed, we walked over to the first set of doors that led to our destination. We fashioned our eye and ear protection before entering the first set of doors. Open the first doors and go in. Completely shut those doors before going through the second set of doors. Walk along the wall. With each step, we got closer to lane number nine.
My guy showed me how to load the clip of the 40-calibur handgun we were going to be working with. He was wonderfully patient with me and explained each step of what to do, how to do it, and what not to do. It was my turn to shoot. The excitement slightly overpowered my nerves. I loaded the clip and put the clip into the gun. As I cocked the gun, a sudden realization of the huge responsibility I am holding in my hand is very real. In my head I am reminding myself to always point the weapon down the lane. If I so much as wanted to turn around, I was to lay the gun on the counter in front of me.
As I raised my arms to aim at the little red bulls eye that resided in the head of the silhouette target, my arms began to shake. I did my best to steady myself. I aimed with both eyes open, not having a clue of what to expect when I pulled the trigger. Would the weapon fly out of my hands? Was I holding it tight enough? Was I holding it too tight? What I should have asked myself, or perhaps my partner was: "What do I do with my left hand?"
BOOM!
I stood there for a second, then sat the gun down and looked at my left hand. My thumb was bleeding but just a little bit. I don't know what the different parts of the gun are called, but I think the top part that slides caught my thumb and caused some very superficial scratches. I then watched Daddy and he showed me how to wrap my left hand around the bottom of the gun. Over the next hour or so, we took turns filling the clip and taking aim. Before the end of our outing I had hit three bulls eyes; one was at ten feet and the other two at fifteen feet. I was able to hit the target at twenty feet and even forty feet.
We plan to go back the range on a regular basis to allow me time to gain skill and confidence. I think Daddy was impressed.
Monday, February 24, 2014
My Boy...Nice Try
Early this evening, I was sitting at my computer doing schoolwork, as I do most evenings. My daughter and son were sitting at the table doing homework, or so I thought. I was enjoying a rare occurrence; they were sitting, nicely conversing with one another. There was no arguing, just a pleasant conversation. Mother's intuition must have kicked in because I started to tune out of what I was doing and tune into what they were saying. It sounded like they were discussing a book they both had read. Then mommy radar went off. I knew my son had a book report to work on. Did my daughter read the same book? Is he asking her questions about it to get the answers he needs for his report? Is she unknowingly filling in the holes of his book report? So, I asked them what they were doing. As it sounded, they were talking about a book.
Time to investigate.
I walked over to them and immediately recognized the look on my daughter's face. She was thinking one of two things. I just got caught doing something I shouldn't be doing or I have no clue what is going on. It's the same look so I have to dive in further to determine what is transpiring. My son's behavior also warned me that something was off. As I asked more questions to get to the truth of what was happening, the story got interesting and funny too.
My boy had been assigned a book report the beginning of February. I remembered advising him a week or so ago to ask his teacher if he could bring the book home to read because he was He decided that since he didn't finish reading the book, he would do the book report on another book that his sister was very familiar with. Why was his sister so familiar with this book? Because she wrote it! Yes, my son was asking his sister about a "book" she wrote under the pretenses of claiming he forgot what happened in her book. I have no doubt he never read her story, not that it matters.
For a boy who has gotten all A's and B's since the beginning of the school year, he made a pretty bone-headed choice. We talked about how his teacher would notice that the report was about a book that didn't exist in publication, nor was it the book he had chosen to do a report on. It looks like my boy has a lot of reading to do this week and will have to turn his report in late since he didn't bother to bring the book home today either.
Time to investigate.
I walked over to them and immediately recognized the look on my daughter's face. She was thinking one of two things. I just got caught doing something I shouldn't be doing or I have no clue what is going on. It's the same look so I have to dive in further to determine what is transpiring. My son's behavior also warned me that something was off. As I asked more questions to get to the truth of what was happening, the story got interesting and funny too.
My boy had been assigned a book report the beginning of February. I remembered advising him a week or so ago to ask his teacher if he could bring the book home to read because he was He decided that since he didn't finish reading the book, he would do the book report on another book that his sister was very familiar with. Why was his sister so familiar with this book? Because she wrote it! Yes, my son was asking his sister about a "book" she wrote under the pretenses of claiming he forgot what happened in her book. I have no doubt he never read her story, not that it matters.
For a boy who has gotten all A's and B's since the beginning of the school year, he made a pretty bone-headed choice. We talked about how his teacher would notice that the report was about a book that didn't exist in publication, nor was it the book he had chosen to do a report on. It looks like my boy has a lot of reading to do this week and will have to turn his report in late since he didn't bother to bring the book home today either.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Constant Rearranging...
I am a serial re-arranger! Living in an apartment with three kids has its challenges. I am always trying to find ways to have more open space on some pretty limiting square footage and tonight was no different! I had just moved furniture around in the living room about a week ago. I thought it looked pretty good, but it definitely took up some of our free space, so I wasn't sure if it would stay. It didn't.
Today I was at it again, putting the couch back against the wall it was at before, sliding the television and its stand to another wall and down a bit, flipping the chaise lounge to the other side of the room, and moving the end table back next to the couch by the door. It isn't easy, but I really like the way it is now. We have our "extra" space back despite my adding a new large, square seat/foot rest to the room.
Daddy left for work and the living room looked one way, then came home and it looked different. I think he likes it too. Our little man is definitely a fan, he was running around being loud. The smile across his face showed that the changes met his approval. I think I am going to leave it like this for a while, even though it means my desk being somewhat shoved in the corner. I suppose I could have moved the couch down a bit more to give me more room, but that would mean shifting the pictures and sconces above the couch and I wasn't up for that challenge, at least not tonight.
So, for now, I will sit back and relax. I am looking forward to sitting down and having dinner with Daddy. I love when he cooks for us. It looks delicious! I can't wait to wrap up this day snuggling up together on the couch watching a movie.
Today I was at it again, putting the couch back against the wall it was at before, sliding the television and its stand to another wall and down a bit, flipping the chaise lounge to the other side of the room, and moving the end table back next to the couch by the door. It isn't easy, but I really like the way it is now. We have our "extra" space back despite my adding a new large, square seat/foot rest to the room.
Daddy left for work and the living room looked one way, then came home and it looked different. I think he likes it too. Our little man is definitely a fan, he was running around being loud. The smile across his face showed that the changes met his approval. I think I am going to leave it like this for a while, even though it means my desk being somewhat shoved in the corner. I suppose I could have moved the couch down a bit more to give me more room, but that would mean shifting the pictures and sconces above the couch and I wasn't up for that challenge, at least not tonight.
So, for now, I will sit back and relax. I am looking forward to sitting down and having dinner with Daddy. I love when he cooks for us. It looks delicious! I can't wait to wrap up this day snuggling up together on the couch watching a movie.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Bad, Bad Service
Ever heard of the saying "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." That seems to come to mind when I think about our dining experience this evening. Normally, when we go out to eat, we go to Cheddars. The food is very good, the service is great, and I can't think of a time we had a negative experience. I used to wait tables so I know how much hard work it is, how tiring it is on the feet, and how sometimes, no matter how nice you are, you get stuck with unappreciative guests. My point is, it takes a lot to NOT get a good tip from me.
It is extremely rare for me to give less than a twenty per cent tip. Tonight, I didn't give a dime and it was even on a $75 check. I know it sounds horrible, but if I could have given a "negative" tip, I would have considered it. The only positive thing was that we didn't have to wait for a table. It was all downhill from there. On several occasions, our server and other members of the staff, when dropping things off to our table literally plopped them down on the table without saying a word and just kept walking. Whether it was a cup of gravy, an ordered drink, a straw, they swooped in, plopped it down, and swooped right back out. Unacceptable.
I don't just go out to eat for the food. Sometimes it is to get out, enjoying a different atmosphere, but mainly it is to sit down with my family and have a nice time. Granted, we still had a good time, but the service and the food left much to be desired. The fish was bland even with a parmesan crusted topping, the mashed potatoes were cold, and a drink came with suds and floaties in it.
Next time it is my turn to choose a place to eat, it will not be Chili's!
It is extremely rare for me to give less than a twenty per cent tip. Tonight, I didn't give a dime and it was even on a $75 check. I know it sounds horrible, but if I could have given a "negative" tip, I would have considered it. The only positive thing was that we didn't have to wait for a table. It was all downhill from there. On several occasions, our server and other members of the staff, when dropping things off to our table literally plopped them down on the table without saying a word and just kept walking. Whether it was a cup of gravy, an ordered drink, a straw, they swooped in, plopped it down, and swooped right back out. Unacceptable.
I don't just go out to eat for the food. Sometimes it is to get out, enjoying a different atmosphere, but mainly it is to sit down with my family and have a nice time. Granted, we still had a good time, but the service and the food left much to be desired. The fish was bland even with a parmesan crusted topping, the mashed potatoes were cold, and a drink came with suds and floaties in it.
Next time it is my turn to choose a place to eat, it will not be Chili's!
Friday, February 21, 2014
Picky, Picky, Picky
You would probably be surprised to hear about the every day foods I have never eaten. Well, "never" until SOMEBODY kind of made me. A couple years ago, I couldn't tell you what a grape, apple, orange, pineapple, or even lettuce tasted like. I have always been an extremely picky eater. As a kid, there were a few things I was "made" to eat, gross things like baked beans, polish sausage with sauerkraut, and even venison. That's right, Bambi. Yuck. Needless to say, I did not explore with food, spices, or anything of the sort.
I ate lots of hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, pizza, tacos, burgers, grilled cheese, and spaghetti. My go to lunch that I would pack for school was a cheese sandwich. Yes, that's right. Nothing fancy. Bread -- Cheese -- Bread, then pack it in a sandwich baggie and I am ready to go. Eventually I think I threw some bologna into the mix. Oh, and don't let me leave out spam. Yes, I ate spam. That was a "special treat" when we got to eat spam. I can't tell you how many times I would cut myself trying to twist that little key around the metal can to get to the spam. Fry it up and it is good to go! Delicious! The only yogurt I would entertain was Dannon Lemon yogurt. I was convinced I wouldn't like any of the others because they had fruit in it, and I didn't eat fruit. I am really not even sure why. I just didn't think I would like it.
Even as a adult, I didn't venture out beyond my go to foods; there was a lot of chicken, burgers, pizza, and pastas. Oh, how I love the pasta dishes!
My guy and I have been together for almost two years. Since the start of our story, he has "made" me try new things. Not by force, of course, but he can be pretty darn persuasive. I am a very textured eater, so grapes still freak me out a little bit when the water squirts out into my mouth, but I do like them and I deal with the texture. I try not to eat them in front of people because I am pretty sure I make a goofy face. I really like apples and eat them on pretty regular basis. They are delicious! I have been missing out on some really good stuff. Probably my favorite new experience that I pretty much beg for every time he is home is Curry Chicken. It is amazing. My taste buds go crazy for that stuff! I have now eaten watermelon, but I am pretty sure I make the same face as when eating grapes. I still don't do oranges, but I will suck the juice out of them. Today I had some bites of a chicken, bacon, ranch sandwich. I didn't think I would like the ranch part. It was really good.
I still can't tell you what a banana tastes like. That is one food I will never eat, pickles too. I can't get past the smell of either of those vastly different foods. Neither of those will every look, smell, or (I can only imagine) taste good, but at least I am exploring more. He has opened me up to so many new food choices, most of which I end up being a big fan of.
I ate lots of hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, pizza, tacos, burgers, grilled cheese, and spaghetti. My go to lunch that I would pack for school was a cheese sandwich. Yes, that's right. Nothing fancy. Bread -- Cheese -- Bread, then pack it in a sandwich baggie and I am ready to go. Eventually I think I threw some bologna into the mix. Oh, and don't let me leave out spam. Yes, I ate spam. That was a "special treat" when we got to eat spam. I can't tell you how many times I would cut myself trying to twist that little key around the metal can to get to the spam. Fry it up and it is good to go! Delicious! The only yogurt I would entertain was Dannon Lemon yogurt. I was convinced I wouldn't like any of the others because they had fruit in it, and I didn't eat fruit. I am really not even sure why. I just didn't think I would like it.
Even as a adult, I didn't venture out beyond my go to foods; there was a lot of chicken, burgers, pizza, and pastas. Oh, how I love the pasta dishes!
My guy and I have been together for almost two years. Since the start of our story, he has "made" me try new things. Not by force, of course, but he can be pretty darn persuasive. I am a very textured eater, so grapes still freak me out a little bit when the water squirts out into my mouth, but I do like them and I deal with the texture. I try not to eat them in front of people because I am pretty sure I make a goofy face. I really like apples and eat them on pretty regular basis. They are delicious! I have been missing out on some really good stuff. Probably my favorite new experience that I pretty much beg for every time he is home is Curry Chicken. It is amazing. My taste buds go crazy for that stuff! I have now eaten watermelon, but I am pretty sure I make the same face as when eating grapes. I still don't do oranges, but I will suck the juice out of them. Today I had some bites of a chicken, bacon, ranch sandwich. I didn't think I would like the ranch part. It was really good.
I still can't tell you what a banana tastes like. That is one food I will never eat, pickles too. I can't get past the smell of either of those vastly different foods. Neither of those will every look, smell, or (I can only imagine) taste good, but at least I am exploring more. He has opened me up to so many new food choices, most of which I end up being a big fan of.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Frustration sets in...
To be honest, I contemplated whether or not to approach this subject in my blog, considering this blog was created as a school assignment. That having been said, this blog has become more than just a requirement; it is a way for me to get my thoughts and feelings out, often allowing me to free my stresses of the day and lessen the amount of things spinning around in my head as I prepare for sleep.
I am an online student this semester and I am growing more and more frustrated with some major differences I have experienced when I compare my current experiences with past experiences in seated classes. Tonight I am going to let it all out in hopes that I can come up with a positive, proactive way of figuring out what, if anything, I can do to improve my current outlook on this semester.
We are going into our sixth week out of a sixteen week semester; that is a pretty good chunk of time. I have yet to receive instructor feedback on several assignments that have been turned in, some of which date back to mid January. This was never a problem in the many seated classes I have taken, which leads me to believe that perhaps this is what is to be expected of online classes. It leaves me with little direction and almost no chance for improvement. Unfortunately, this is the case in the majority of my classes and I am not sure why, nor do I have a clue how to fix it.
Several times in multiple classes I have submitted assignments as instructed only to find a "0" under my grade with little to no explanation why. In one keystroke, I went from an "A+" (100%) to a "D" after having earned ten points on an assignment worth thirty points. This assignment spans three weeks of submissions, each worth ten points. Two of the weeks aren't due yet. One was due Wednesday that got extended to Friday, which is tomorrow and the third part is due next Wednesday. I submitted the first part on time (which I can only assume is where the ten points came from), I submitted the second part on it's original due date. Frustration is definitely setting in.
Okay, so I feel a little better getting that out without any use of profanity. Go me! I am going to see if I can go into work late tomorrow so that I can drop by campus and see if I can catch up with some instructors. Maybe putting a face with my name will help and I can show, in person, how important schooling and feedback is to me.
I am an online student this semester and I am growing more and more frustrated with some major differences I have experienced when I compare my current experiences with past experiences in seated classes. Tonight I am going to let it all out in hopes that I can come up with a positive, proactive way of figuring out what, if anything, I can do to improve my current outlook on this semester.
We are going into our sixth week out of a sixteen week semester; that is a pretty good chunk of time. I have yet to receive instructor feedback on several assignments that have been turned in, some of which date back to mid January. This was never a problem in the many seated classes I have taken, which leads me to believe that perhaps this is what is to be expected of online classes. It leaves me with little direction and almost no chance for improvement. Unfortunately, this is the case in the majority of my classes and I am not sure why, nor do I have a clue how to fix it.
Several times in multiple classes I have submitted assignments as instructed only to find a "0" under my grade with little to no explanation why. In one keystroke, I went from an "A+" (100%) to a "D" after having earned ten points on an assignment worth thirty points. This assignment spans three weeks of submissions, each worth ten points. Two of the weeks aren't due yet. One was due Wednesday that got extended to Friday, which is tomorrow and the third part is due next Wednesday. I submitted the first part on time (which I can only assume is where the ten points came from), I submitted the second part on it's original due date. Frustration is definitely setting in.
Okay, so I feel a little better getting that out without any use of profanity. Go me! I am going to see if I can go into work late tomorrow so that I can drop by campus and see if I can catch up with some instructors. Maybe putting a face with my name will help and I can show, in person, how important schooling and feedback is to me.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Extra Tight Squeezes
There is only one thing on my mind tonight, so here goes...
Something devastating happened very close to where I live yesterday, just before 5pm. A beautiful little 10-year-old girl, who I can only imagine was full of life, was taken off the street. She was walking the two blocks to get from her friend's house to home and a man in a truck stopped and asked her for directions. He lured her in close enough to grab her and did just that. A man who happened to be out in his garage saw it happen. He chased the truck, but of course, the truck was out of sight in mere seconds. Thankfully, they did get his plate number and Amber Alerts went out quickly. My understanding from reports published online this evening is that he was captured within three hours of the incidents onset. Unfortunately, that wasn't fast enough for little Hailey Owens, whose body was discovered in his home.
I can't help but to think of my babies and having to imagine my life without them is incomprehensible. I can't do it. Tragedies like this happen and it just reminds me that our worlds can change in an instant. We aren't guaranteed anything in this life. I have been talking to my kids a lot about being aware of their surroundings, staying away from "strangers." The truth is, it may not be a stranger. This man was a football coach and a teacher's aide. I understand that he did not work at her school, but again, it just reminds me that horrible people with evil intentions can come in all shapes and forms. They can be our neighbors, our teachers, our friends and God forbid even our families.
Of course, we can't go through life thinking that everyone is out to get us, because then we are no longer living, we are just surviving. I hope something good comes from such evil things. I hope that every parent out there is hugging their children extra tight this evening, as I will be, and thanking God for keeping them safe. I will pray for Hailey's soul, I know she is with God. I will pray for her family, her friends, our entire community that has been rocked by this terrible event. I hope that you will too.
"Porch Lights for Hailey Owens" was started on Facebook. There are porch lights all over the U.S. that will stay lit tonight, including mine, to show support to her family during this horrific time. There will also be a Candlelight Vigil in downtown Springfield this Saturday night on Commercial Street at 8pm.
I am squeezing my babies extra tight this evening. They will have to get over it. I am their mama and I want them to always know how very precious they are to me. I just wish my backbone was home to give me the same squeezes and tell me that everything is going to be okay.
Something devastating happened very close to where I live yesterday, just before 5pm. A beautiful little 10-year-old girl, who I can only imagine was full of life, was taken off the street. She was walking the two blocks to get from her friend's house to home and a man in a truck stopped and asked her for directions. He lured her in close enough to grab her and did just that. A man who happened to be out in his garage saw it happen. He chased the truck, but of course, the truck was out of sight in mere seconds. Thankfully, they did get his plate number and Amber Alerts went out quickly. My understanding from reports published online this evening is that he was captured within three hours of the incidents onset. Unfortunately, that wasn't fast enough for little Hailey Owens, whose body was discovered in his home.
I can't help but to think of my babies and having to imagine my life without them is incomprehensible. I can't do it. Tragedies like this happen and it just reminds me that our worlds can change in an instant. We aren't guaranteed anything in this life. I have been talking to my kids a lot about being aware of their surroundings, staying away from "strangers." The truth is, it may not be a stranger. This man was a football coach and a teacher's aide. I understand that he did not work at her school, but again, it just reminds me that horrible people with evil intentions can come in all shapes and forms. They can be our neighbors, our teachers, our friends and God forbid even our families.
Of course, we can't go through life thinking that everyone is out to get us, because then we are no longer living, we are just surviving. I hope something good comes from such evil things. I hope that every parent out there is hugging their children extra tight this evening, as I will be, and thanking God for keeping them safe. I will pray for Hailey's soul, I know she is with God. I will pray for her family, her friends, our entire community that has been rocked by this terrible event. I hope that you will too.
"Porch Lights for Hailey Owens" was started on Facebook. There are porch lights all over the U.S. that will stay lit tonight, including mine, to show support to her family during this horrific time. There will also be a Candlelight Vigil in downtown Springfield this Saturday night on Commercial Street at 8pm.
I am squeezing my babies extra tight this evening. They will have to get over it. I am their mama and I want them to always know how very precious they are to me. I just wish my backbone was home to give me the same squeezes and tell me that everything is going to be okay.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
What comes to mind when you hear the word 'Pandora' ?
I think when most people talk about 'Pandora' they imagine the free, personalized internet radio that plays music its operator selects. When I think of 'Pandora', I think about the most special gift I have ever received that doesn't eat, sleep, or poop. Sometimes I get emails and in the subject line I see this word, my eyes light up with excitement, only to find out it is about music and not my favorite store in the mall.
I discovered Pandora bracelets a few years ago. Of course, I had charm bracelets when I was younger, but nothing like the detail and thoughtfulness of a beautiful Pandora bracelet. I never bought myself one. I thought it was silly to get one for myself. I wanted it to be special. Well, a while back, my special guy sent me to the mall to get my special bracelet. He was out of town working, or I am sure he would have braved the mall himself.
My breathtaking bracelet that sparkles with magnificent beauty started off with three charms, one representing each of my children. An adorable, fat penguin, a 'lil' hanging monkey, and a horse/donkey. It looks like a horse, but I assure you, it is all donkey! I won't tell which belongs to who and why; Only the gift giver and I are privy to that information.
Each charm has such a special meaning to me. I have a charm that is a stack of school books with an owl in a cap and gown on one side and "STUDY" on the other side; I got this one for earning a 4.0 at OTC. I have an adorable little giraffe because it is my favorite animal at the zoo. Evey time I look at it, I think about the day we too our little boy to the zoo for the very first time. That was a really special day. I have a hanging charm that is a mini Claddagh Irish ring. I had a ring just like this when I was in high school, it was probably my favorite piece of jewelry. What amazes me is that I don't think my special guy knew that. A heart with a lock and key, a "family" charm, a Bible charm, even a charm that has my favorite color in it.
The only charms I picked out were the ones representing my three children. How do they manage to pick out the perfect charm at the perfect time? I think it is because Daddy pays attention. He invests in me, in us. The moment I put it on, I feel the love that went into picking out each and every charm. I wonder what will come next...
I discovered Pandora bracelets a few years ago. Of course, I had charm bracelets when I was younger, but nothing like the detail and thoughtfulness of a beautiful Pandora bracelet. I never bought myself one. I thought it was silly to get one for myself. I wanted it to be special. Well, a while back, my special guy sent me to the mall to get my special bracelet. He was out of town working, or I am sure he would have braved the mall himself.
My breathtaking bracelet that sparkles with magnificent beauty started off with three charms, one representing each of my children. An adorable, fat penguin, a 'lil' hanging monkey, and a horse/donkey. It looks like a horse, but I assure you, it is all donkey! I won't tell which belongs to who and why; Only the gift giver and I are privy to that information.
Each charm has such a special meaning to me. I have a charm that is a stack of school books with an owl in a cap and gown on one side and "STUDY" on the other side; I got this one for earning a 4.0 at OTC. I have an adorable little giraffe because it is my favorite animal at the zoo. Evey time I look at it, I think about the day we too our little boy to the zoo for the very first time. That was a really special day. I have a hanging charm that is a mini Claddagh Irish ring. I had a ring just like this when I was in high school, it was probably my favorite piece of jewelry. What amazes me is that I don't think my special guy knew that. A heart with a lock and key, a "family" charm, a Bible charm, even a charm that has my favorite color in it.
The only charms I picked out were the ones representing my three children. How do they manage to pick out the perfect charm at the perfect time? I think it is because Daddy pays attention. He invests in me, in us. The moment I put it on, I feel the love that went into picking out each and every charm. I wonder what will come next...
Monday, February 17, 2014
I can be SUCH a girl!
Here's the thing. MY pancakes are special! First of all, they are perfectly golden brown, fluffy, thick but not too thick little bites of deliciousness! I am by no means a chef and I am not very creative in the kitchen, although I wish I was. But, I can make a killer breakfast. It's not just my pancakes. It's cheesy eggs with a hint of pepper, it's hash browns - the little square ones - sometimes with peppers, and it's turkey sausage or turkey bacon. If I make you MY pancakes, it's because it's something I know I can get right. I know you are going to love them. So just appreciate the gesture and don't go anywhere else to get pancakes! Yes, this really is about my pancakes. I am fully aware of how silly I sound and as I type this I wonder; is this neurotic? It must be a girl thing.
I find the simplest things and make them special. In reality, it's who I am doing all these little things with that make whatever it is so darn special. I don't want to see movies without him because there is no better way to watch a movie. I want to be curled up on our couch together with him making me try combinations of snack foods that I would never think to put together. They always turn out tasty; my pancakes are better.
So, if he comes across a Denny's or an IHOP in his travels, he can order lunch, or he can order dinner, he can even order breakfast, just NOT the pancakes!
I find the simplest things and make them special. In reality, it's who I am doing all these little things with that make whatever it is so darn special. I don't want to see movies without him because there is no better way to watch a movie. I want to be curled up on our couch together with him making me try combinations of snack foods that I would never think to put together. They always turn out tasty; my pancakes are better.
So, if he comes across a Denny's or an IHOP in his travels, he can order lunch, or he can order dinner, he can even order breakfast, just NOT the pancakes!
Sunday, February 16, 2014
A beautiful day
Today was a beautiful day, or at least that was the impression I got as I sat at my desk for countless hours knocking out one assignment after the next and re-writing notes, of which I still have more to do. My desk now faces our patio doors, which provides me a view of the blank courtyard where we live. There used to be picnic tables and a playground, but that has all been removed for one reason or another. Thankfully, our children are resourceful and can have fun with very little resources, just as I did when I felt the freedom of being outside. The sun is shining on our courtyard, kissing the faces of smiling children and warming the ground that was recently covered with snow. Spring is coming.
I can hear all the "apartment children" laughing and playing. I am able to focus on one particular laugh that I know very well. As I peer over my computer screen, thru the blinds, and out to the courtyard, I see our little boy running, giggling, and kicking a ball with his brother and sister, all the while trying to keep it away from them. I want to be out there. I want to feel the sun on my face, warming me. I want to kick a ball around and chase our kids and enjoy this beautiful day God has given us. I want to grab my softball mitt and our little man's tiny, new tee-ball mitt and teach our boy how to play catch so he can surprise his Daddy when he gets home from being on the road working. Once again, the fun I intend to surround myself with has to wait another day. Bummer.
As I try to focus of the positives of the day, I think about when our little man got up from his not-so-long nap, there was no 'hi mommy,' all he said was, "movie." He is turning into quite a movie fan. I can't wait for Daddy and I to be able to take him to a "real" movie in a big theater. I am curious to see what he does with all that wonderment. My homework had progressed along, so we popped in "Despicable Me," one of his favorites, and snuggled up on the couch together. As he lay against me, I could feel how completely relaxed and at peace we both were. These are the connections, the quiet times that I long for. He is always running at full speed, for him to slow himself down, and allow me to have some time with him and bond with him, there is no greater gift. I soaked up all forty or so minutes of it until his sister, the saboteur, said, "You wanna go back outside." That was the end of mommy and me time.
Our little man went out to have some fun while I fell asleep on the phone with Daddy. I guess I was even more tired, with this crazy schedule of one long night after another, than I thought. Was I making a selfish decision in agreeing to take a nap instead of running outside to play? I knew I needed it to make it through the rest of the day and still have enough energy for what the rest of the evening had in store for us.
As I wrap up my reflection of the day, having kissed my babies and told them good night, I hope that tomorrow will bring us another beautiful day and renew my chance to connect with our three blessings and all that surrounds us.
I can hear all the "apartment children" laughing and playing. I am able to focus on one particular laugh that I know very well. As I peer over my computer screen, thru the blinds, and out to the courtyard, I see our little boy running, giggling, and kicking a ball with his brother and sister, all the while trying to keep it away from them. I want to be out there. I want to feel the sun on my face, warming me. I want to kick a ball around and chase our kids and enjoy this beautiful day God has given us. I want to grab my softball mitt and our little man's tiny, new tee-ball mitt and teach our boy how to play catch so he can surprise his Daddy when he gets home from being on the road working. Once again, the fun I intend to surround myself with has to wait another day. Bummer.
As I try to focus of the positives of the day, I think about when our little man got up from his not-so-long nap, there was no 'hi mommy,' all he said was, "movie." He is turning into quite a movie fan. I can't wait for Daddy and I to be able to take him to a "real" movie in a big theater. I am curious to see what he does with all that wonderment. My homework had progressed along, so we popped in "Despicable Me," one of his favorites, and snuggled up on the couch together. As he lay against me, I could feel how completely relaxed and at peace we both were. These are the connections, the quiet times that I long for. He is always running at full speed, for him to slow himself down, and allow me to have some time with him and bond with him, there is no greater gift. I soaked up all forty or so minutes of it until his sister, the saboteur, said, "You wanna go back outside." That was the end of mommy and me time.
Our little man went out to have some fun while I fell asleep on the phone with Daddy. I guess I was even more tired, with this crazy schedule of one long night after another, than I thought. Was I making a selfish decision in agreeing to take a nap instead of running outside to play? I knew I needed it to make it through the rest of the day and still have enough energy for what the rest of the evening had in store for us.
As I wrap up my reflection of the day, having kissed my babies and told them good night, I hope that tomorrow will bring us another beautiful day and renew my chance to connect with our three blessings and all that surrounds us.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Present, but not accounted for...
My daily struggle...
One point that always seems to be emphasized at my wonderful church is how our actions trump our words. We want to be a community where what we do shows what we believe. Parishioners, including myself, faithfully to go church week after week and give because we want to make an impact in the community we live in and around the world. It is a wonderful feeling to know that I am making a difference in the lives of those around me. Sometimes I wonder if I am making a big enough difference in my own home.
I tell my children that family comes first. I tell them that no one will love them and always be there for them like family will. I tell them these things because I want the way they treat each other to mirror those ideas. But, in their eyes, I often wonder if my actions reflect those statements.
I am present. Most days I have the privilege to be able to work from home and I go to school online, but I worry about the lack of quality time I am able to give to my family right now. The man I choose to spend my life with and our children mean everything to me. My toddler has a new favorite movie, "Rise of the Guardians," that has been playing on a continual loop for several days now. I haven't seen it once. I have heard it, I have seen bits and pieces, but I have yet had the opportunity to snuggle up on the couch under a blanket and experience it with him. I feel like I am being selfish because my dreams are taking away from their experiences now. My kids will only be kids for a short time. My oldest is six short years away from being considered an adult. My older son is only eight years away and my little guy isn't so little anymore and the days of him wanting to hang out with me over anyone else are most certainly numbered.
I have mentioned before that this online semester has been exceedingly more demanding that I had expected. Every night and all of my days off from work are devoured doing schoolwork of one sort or another. I have yet to discover the super woman within me who can successfully handle everything: work, school, three kids and all of their needs, cooking, and cleaning. I want to be able to do it all, but it's a lot to balance on my own. I have very little help, the wonderful man in my life has a job that keeps him all over the map most of the time. He makes sacrifices every day to make sure that he can take care of his family. I admire how incredibly strong he is.
My mind tells me that pursuing my education is an important goal that I am not going to give up on or divert from just because things get harder. My heart tells me that I am giving up precious time with my children. It is a daily battle I torment myself with. I am very concerned about what I am taking away from my family during this extremely demanding process. They are the backbone of who I am and who I want to be. I feel like I am forcing them to miss out on me because I am putting in the necessary time to focus on being successful in school. My partner is much more understand than my children, of course. I hear these comments posed as questions far too often: when are you going to be done with that homework, why are you working again, didn't you already work today, how much homework do you have to do, and the list goes on.
I hope that my children, when they look back on this challenging time, will be able to recognize that I was doing the necessary things to provide us a more secure future. I hope they will see my determination and drive and know that life, among other things, involves sacrifice and that although we always have a choice, all choices are not ideal. I hope they see that I did the very best I could and that in the long run it all paid off. I hope that they will always feel the love and bond I feel for them and with them that will never go away.
One point that always seems to be emphasized at my wonderful church is how our actions trump our words. We want to be a community where what we do shows what we believe. Parishioners, including myself, faithfully to go church week after week and give because we want to make an impact in the community we live in and around the world. It is a wonderful feeling to know that I am making a difference in the lives of those around me. Sometimes I wonder if I am making a big enough difference in my own home.
I tell my children that family comes first. I tell them that no one will love them and always be there for them like family will. I tell them these things because I want the way they treat each other to mirror those ideas. But, in their eyes, I often wonder if my actions reflect those statements.
I am present. Most days I have the privilege to be able to work from home and I go to school online, but I worry about the lack of quality time I am able to give to my family right now. The man I choose to spend my life with and our children mean everything to me. My toddler has a new favorite movie, "Rise of the Guardians," that has been playing on a continual loop for several days now. I haven't seen it once. I have heard it, I have seen bits and pieces, but I have yet had the opportunity to snuggle up on the couch under a blanket and experience it with him. I feel like I am being selfish because my dreams are taking away from their experiences now. My kids will only be kids for a short time. My oldest is six short years away from being considered an adult. My older son is only eight years away and my little guy isn't so little anymore and the days of him wanting to hang out with me over anyone else are most certainly numbered.
I have mentioned before that this online semester has been exceedingly more demanding that I had expected. Every night and all of my days off from work are devoured doing schoolwork of one sort or another. I have yet to discover the super woman within me who can successfully handle everything: work, school, three kids and all of their needs, cooking, and cleaning. I want to be able to do it all, but it's a lot to balance on my own. I have very little help, the wonderful man in my life has a job that keeps him all over the map most of the time. He makes sacrifices every day to make sure that he can take care of his family. I admire how incredibly strong he is.
My mind tells me that pursuing my education is an important goal that I am not going to give up on or divert from just because things get harder. My heart tells me that I am giving up precious time with my children. It is a daily battle I torment myself with. I am very concerned about what I am taking away from my family during this extremely demanding process. They are the backbone of who I am and who I want to be. I feel like I am forcing them to miss out on me because I am putting in the necessary time to focus on being successful in school. My partner is much more understand than my children, of course. I hear these comments posed as questions far too often: when are you going to be done with that homework, why are you working again, didn't you already work today, how much homework do you have to do, and the list goes on.
I hope that my children, when they look back on this challenging time, will be able to recognize that I was doing the necessary things to provide us a more secure future. I hope they will see my determination and drive and know that life, among other things, involves sacrifice and that although we always have a choice, all choices are not ideal. I hope they see that I did the very best I could and that in the long run it all paid off. I hope that they will always feel the love and bond I feel for them and with them that will never go away.
Friday, February 14, 2014
I Believe Essay
Tonight I am working on what I hope is my final draft of my personal credo, my "I Believe Essay"....
I believe that having faith and trust in God is an essential piece of who I am today and who I will continue to be and improve upon in the future. I haven't always felt this way. I think I always believed in God, but I definitely didn't always think he was with me. I know that I didn't feel a connection with God growing up. My childhood had some really awesome days, but most weren't nearly as wonderful. Growing up in a house with two adults and five children, including myself, the last word you would think I would use to describe my existence would be "alone." Surrounded by people, I felt very alone. I think we were all just trying to survive the hand life had dealt us. Looking back, I recognize that my mom did the best she could with what she had. Her mother had abandoned her when she was a small child, just nine-years-old, so at least my mom stuck by me -- in her own way. I think if I had developed a relationship with God then, I may not have felt a sense of abandonment. I have been on a personal journey with God for the past almost two years and have grown much closer to him. I know that I am never truly alone and that God has a better plan for me than I could ever design for myself, by myself. I hope to pass the love of God on to my children so they will always know how very special they are and that their lives have meaning and purpose.
Living with purpose is something I try to do. The more focused and driven I become, the more dedicated and persistent I am, which will reflect that I am a woman with purpose. My life has worth beyond what I can comprehend. Some of the beliefs I hold dear and hope to instill in my children are to love unconditionally without hesitation or fear. I hope that knowing the purity of God's love and feeling the love I have for them will always be with them in their individual life journeys. I want them to always look for the positive in even the bleakest of situations. There is always something positive to draw from, even if it is nothing more than a valuable life lesson. It is there, just waiting to be discovered. Many of life's blessings are little things that can, if you aren't paying attention, go unnoticed.
I want to live my life with integrity. I learned early in life that sometimes I had to lie to get through situations that could have otherwise ended badly for em, or at least that is what I believed. I lied a lot. Sometimes I told lies to spare someone's feelings, other times it was just to stay out of trouble or to take the easy way out. As I grew older and started to think more about the consequences of my choices, the more I learned that being a person who lives with integrity was something I wanted to achieve. I wanted others to know, without question, that they could count on me to always be honest and that I could be trusted. I hope that the people in my life now are able to recognize that I try to be honest and fair in all situations. I always tell my children, "If you tell me the truth we can talk about it, but if you tell me a lie then you are automatically in trouble." I almost always know when the truth is being side-stepped. I have a strong inner voice that tells me when something isn't right. I want to teach them that it is much better to always tell the truth, in the nicest way possible so as not to hurt anyone intentionally. Even if someone doesn't like what I or they may have to say, at least they will respect our honesty.
I believe that showing kindness and patience for those around us is something every human being should practice. I love the saying, "God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason." It reminds me to be quiet and listen. It is important to listen more than we talk. Sometimes in conversation, I interrupt the other person with "me too" interjections and I turn the conversation to being about me. I am working on realizing this before I actually do it. I am a work in progress. I think I am just connecting with what the person is saying, and suddenly I have taken over the conversation instead of hearing the other person.
I want to always have a thirst for knowledge. There are so many things in life that I don't know much about. I have always done pretty well in school, for the most part, and love to learn new and interesting things. I want to continue to explore deeper meanings and expand my understanding of things. Keeping my mind sharp for as many years as I am given is something I hope to always strive toward.
I believe in empowering those I encounter in life with words of praise, encouragement, and support. I want to give those around me a reason to smile as often as possible. If I can leave my mark on this world through the hearts and memories of those people I have touched during my time here, than I will have lived my life full of meaning and purpose.
I believe that having faith and trust in God is an essential piece of who I am today and who I will continue to be and improve upon in the future. I haven't always felt this way. I think I always believed in God, but I definitely didn't always think he was with me. I know that I didn't feel a connection with God growing up. My childhood had some really awesome days, but most weren't nearly as wonderful. Growing up in a house with two adults and five children, including myself, the last word you would think I would use to describe my existence would be "alone." Surrounded by people, I felt very alone. I think we were all just trying to survive the hand life had dealt us. Looking back, I recognize that my mom did the best she could with what she had. Her mother had abandoned her when she was a small child, just nine-years-old, so at least my mom stuck by me -- in her own way. I think if I had developed a relationship with God then, I may not have felt a sense of abandonment. I have been on a personal journey with God for the past almost two years and have grown much closer to him. I know that I am never truly alone and that God has a better plan for me than I could ever design for myself, by myself. I hope to pass the love of God on to my children so they will always know how very special they are and that their lives have meaning and purpose.
Living with purpose is something I try to do. The more focused and driven I become, the more dedicated and persistent I am, which will reflect that I am a woman with purpose. My life has worth beyond what I can comprehend. Some of the beliefs I hold dear and hope to instill in my children are to love unconditionally without hesitation or fear. I hope that knowing the purity of God's love and feeling the love I have for them will always be with them in their individual life journeys. I want them to always look for the positive in even the bleakest of situations. There is always something positive to draw from, even if it is nothing more than a valuable life lesson. It is there, just waiting to be discovered. Many of life's blessings are little things that can, if you aren't paying attention, go unnoticed.
I want to live my life with integrity. I learned early in life that sometimes I had to lie to get through situations that could have otherwise ended badly for em, or at least that is what I believed. I lied a lot. Sometimes I told lies to spare someone's feelings, other times it was just to stay out of trouble or to take the easy way out. As I grew older and started to think more about the consequences of my choices, the more I learned that being a person who lives with integrity was something I wanted to achieve. I wanted others to know, without question, that they could count on me to always be honest and that I could be trusted. I hope that the people in my life now are able to recognize that I try to be honest and fair in all situations. I always tell my children, "If you tell me the truth we can talk about it, but if you tell me a lie then you are automatically in trouble." I almost always know when the truth is being side-stepped. I have a strong inner voice that tells me when something isn't right. I want to teach them that it is much better to always tell the truth, in the nicest way possible so as not to hurt anyone intentionally. Even if someone doesn't like what I or they may have to say, at least they will respect our honesty.
I believe that showing kindness and patience for those around us is something every human being should practice. I love the saying, "God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason." It reminds me to be quiet and listen. It is important to listen more than we talk. Sometimes in conversation, I interrupt the other person with "me too" interjections and I turn the conversation to being about me. I am working on realizing this before I actually do it. I am a work in progress. I think I am just connecting with what the person is saying, and suddenly I have taken over the conversation instead of hearing the other person.
I want to always have a thirst for knowledge. There are so many things in life that I don't know much about. I have always done pretty well in school, for the most part, and love to learn new and interesting things. I want to continue to explore deeper meanings and expand my understanding of things. Keeping my mind sharp for as many years as I am given is something I hope to always strive toward.
I believe in empowering those I encounter in life with words of praise, encouragement, and support. I want to give those around me a reason to smile as often as possible. If I can leave my mark on this world through the hearts and memories of those people I have touched during my time here, than I will have lived my life full of meaning and purpose.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Is Romance Dead?
I Google everything; it is pretty much my go-to online resource. According to Google, the definition of "romance" in the noun form is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. The very rapidly approaching holiday, Valentine's Day, begs the following question: Is romance dead?
I actually took a poll on Facebook to see what some of my friends had to say about it. As I suspected, no one said that it was "dead", however, one person thought it might be sleeping. I am thinking a little nudge in the right direction can wake it right up from that nap!
I believe that romance is displayed in millions of little ways, not just grand gestures. You hear all the time that it is the little things that really matter. When I think of romance, I think of the little things. The every day "I love you" that makes your heart just melt. The "I miss you" that lets you know someone is thinking about you and can't wait to be with you again. Catching your special someone looking at you just for the sake of looking at you and you realize your heart is beating faster. These are all lovely, small, romantic gestures to be treasured.
Whether or not you have romance in your life probably depends on how you would define romance. I think anything my guy does for me that makes my day easier, brighter, or just a little less stressed is perfectly acceptable to put into the romance column, because it is all done in the name of love. Refusing to let me take out the trash, marking things off the honey-do list every chance he gets, late night movies snuggled up on the couch when it is just us, protecting our family, supporting all of my goals, and most of all putting up with me are just a few of the wonderful things that spell out romance for me.
Don't get me wrong; we want some grand gestures too! And, by "we", I mean me! I think some men think "grand gesture" and see their wallet emptying at an exasperatingly fast rate. Not true. Some of the most romantic things a guy can do for his girl wouldn't cost him a dime. I don't know any girl who wouldn't love a poem, an unexpected kiss, a big hug that you are in no hurry to let go of, a pat on the bottom as you walk past them, a love letter, a sweet serenade of a special song, or just walking hand-in-hand no matter where you are. To me, these are the grandest of gestures because they can not be bought.
I actually took a poll on Facebook to see what some of my friends had to say about it. As I suspected, no one said that it was "dead", however, one person thought it might be sleeping. I am thinking a little nudge in the right direction can wake it right up from that nap!
I believe that romance is displayed in millions of little ways, not just grand gestures. You hear all the time that it is the little things that really matter. When I think of romance, I think of the little things. The every day "I love you" that makes your heart just melt. The "I miss you" that lets you know someone is thinking about you and can't wait to be with you again. Catching your special someone looking at you just for the sake of looking at you and you realize your heart is beating faster. These are all lovely, small, romantic gestures to be treasured.
Whether or not you have romance in your life probably depends on how you would define romance. I think anything my guy does for me that makes my day easier, brighter, or just a little less stressed is perfectly acceptable to put into the romance column, because it is all done in the name of love. Refusing to let me take out the trash, marking things off the honey-do list every chance he gets, late night movies snuggled up on the couch when it is just us, protecting our family, supporting all of my goals, and most of all putting up with me are just a few of the wonderful things that spell out romance for me.
Don't get me wrong; we want some grand gestures too! And, by "we", I mean me! I think some men think "grand gesture" and see their wallet emptying at an exasperatingly fast rate. Not true. Some of the most romantic things a guy can do for his girl wouldn't cost him a dime. I don't know any girl who wouldn't love a poem, an unexpected kiss, a big hug that you are in no hurry to let go of, a pat on the bottom as you walk past them, a love letter, a sweet serenade of a special song, or just walking hand-in-hand no matter where you are. To me, these are the grandest of gestures because they can not be bought.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
The Entertainer
I have a twelve-year-old, a ten-year-old, and a two-year-old. Needless to say, it has been a long time since I have had a toddler in my home 24/7. I forgot just how entertaining they can be. Our little man is no exception. As we speak, this little ball of energy is using a couch pillow as a battering ram and coming for me repeatedly as I sit in my office chair and attempt to write this blog. I don't have the heart to tell him to stop, because he has been belly-laughing the entire time! He has a big, beautiful smile that lights up any room.
Have you ever thought to use bubble wrap to entertain a toddler? It works great about thirty minutes before bedtime! When my older kids were little, I was a consultant for a home based business; back then everything was shipped to me, which meant A LOT of bubble wrap. I used to line a hallway in my house and let them go at it. Up and down the hall, all I heard was POP, POP, POP! The other night I put some bubble wrap on my kitchen floor (because just about everything else is carpeted). He was on the attack; running back and forth in leaps and bounds. He is our funny little man; the entertainer.
Being a toddler, his vocabulary is growing daily. Some things are pronounced easier than others. Sometimes "truck" sounds like, well, a four letter word that rhymes with truck. Somehow, "X-Box" sounds like the same not-so-nice four letter word. Some days all I hear is "truck" all the way home from daycare. He is a little sponge, soaking up what he hears and spitting it right back out at you. This is why I have a swear jar at home. There is more money in that jar than in my wallet.
Often, after his Daddy will tell him to stop doing something, he will say, "Do you hear me?" Our boy then likes to turn around and use such lines on his sister and brother; and lets face it, sometimes me. What a little stinker. This is our little man's newest favorite saying. He tells his brother to "go away" followed by "do you hear me" as many times as it takes for him to be far enough away or for me to tell him to stop it and be nice.
He insists on helping carry in the groceries, probably because he sees his sister and brother doing it. He is two. He is not very strong. The other day, I had stopped at the store, but I didn't buy much. The lightest bag had a large jar of mixed nuts in it. By the time the bag got inside, the bottom was worn away from it being drug down the sidewalk, there was snow inside of it, and the jar of nuts was barely still inside the bag. He was so proud when he got inside, as he handed to me, he said with a big smile "Here you go!"
He prefers to walk in the snow when there is a perfectly good sidewalk, he says he is hungry to try to get a later bedtime, he says no poopy when there is clearly poopy, he tries to lick ketchup off his elbow that he can't quite reach...he is our little trucking entertainer and we wouldn't trade him for the world.
Have you ever thought to use bubble wrap to entertain a toddler? It works great about thirty minutes before bedtime! When my older kids were little, I was a consultant for a home based business; back then everything was shipped to me, which meant A LOT of bubble wrap. I used to line a hallway in my house and let them go at it. Up and down the hall, all I heard was POP, POP, POP! The other night I put some bubble wrap on my kitchen floor (because just about everything else is carpeted). He was on the attack; running back and forth in leaps and bounds. He is our funny little man; the entertainer.
Being a toddler, his vocabulary is growing daily. Some things are pronounced easier than others. Sometimes "truck" sounds like, well, a four letter word that rhymes with truck. Somehow, "X-Box" sounds like the same not-so-nice four letter word. Some days all I hear is "truck" all the way home from daycare. He is a little sponge, soaking up what he hears and spitting it right back out at you. This is why I have a swear jar at home. There is more money in that jar than in my wallet.
Often, after his Daddy will tell him to stop doing something, he will say, "Do you hear me?" Our boy then likes to turn around and use such lines on his sister and brother; and lets face it, sometimes me. What a little stinker. This is our little man's newest favorite saying. He tells his brother to "go away" followed by "do you hear me" as many times as it takes for him to be far enough away or for me to tell him to stop it and be nice.
He insists on helping carry in the groceries, probably because he sees his sister and brother doing it. He is two. He is not very strong. The other day, I had stopped at the store, but I didn't buy much. The lightest bag had a large jar of mixed nuts in it. By the time the bag got inside, the bottom was worn away from it being drug down the sidewalk, there was snow inside of it, and the jar of nuts was barely still inside the bag. He was so proud when he got inside, as he handed to me, he said with a big smile "Here you go!"
He prefers to walk in the snow when there is a perfectly good sidewalk, he says he is hungry to try to get a later bedtime, he says no poopy when there is clearly poopy, he tries to lick ketchup off his elbow that he can't quite reach...he is our little trucking entertainer and we wouldn't trade him for the world.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Is it Summer yet?
Finals were over. The fall semester was almost a wrap and I was already busy planning my Spring semester. I love being a college student, working toward a goal, and week after week learning new things about myself as well as my scholastic pursuits. I had my classes all lined up when everything changed. I hurt my knee and initially could barely walk on it. Suddenly, I was dreading the Spring semester thinking about how I could get around campus in such a way that it wouldn't prolong my healing process. I have a very full life and didn't want to be kept "down" for an extended period of time. After talking it over with my better half, we decided that the best thing to do would be to change things up. I dropped all the seated classes I was looking forward to and signed up for online classes. For some crazy reason, I also decided to pick this semester to take on full-time credit hours. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.
I thought I would go online a couple of times a week, turn in assignments, and have more free time to spend with my family. I was very, very wrong. Looking back, doing a little research before jumping to this decision would have been a great idea. I had no clue that online classes would be INTENSELY more demanding than seated classes. The fact that I went from two or three classes to five classes probably helped that feeling along. I had bitten off more than I could chew.
So, I am going to tell you what I wish I had allowed someone to tell me. Don't do it! Run away! I hope you are still reading, because that was a joke! If you are going to take online classes, you MUST plan ahead. Expect to spend about three hours of your "free" time devoted to schoolwork for EVERY one credit hour; that is per week. So, if you have twelve credit hours (considered full-time) that is thirty-six hours spent pretty much online. That is a job! There will be a lot of online time, reading time (there is a lot of reading), doing assignments, and taking notes. I haven't sat down and figured out the time, but I will tell you this: Expect to be online every night doing schoolwork! If you have a day off of work, you will probably use most of that on schoolwork too. I didn't realize that teachers would be making up for the lack of classroom discussions in an online discussion board. I understand why they do it, I just hadn't planned for it. This adds a significant amount of time online and reading.
Get organized BEFORE the semester starts! So much time is wasted in disorganization. Set yourself up for success. I keep a binder with details of each course between separator tabs; course syllabuses, rubrics, special instructions, pretty much anything you want to be able to access quickly should be readily available. I also have a separate five-subject notebook for each class. You are also going to want to put together a calendar that has ALL of your commitments on it, whether it be related to work, school, or private life (if you are lucky enough to still have one after work and school...good luck with that!) If you take some time at the beginning of the semester to do these things, you will save yourself a lot of time and stress in the long run. Trust me on this one!
Talk to the important people in your life about the commitment you are making. It is going to take sacrifice -- on your part and on theirs. Just ask the wonderful man in my life or my kids, one of which is 99% his and 1% mine. I get the poop and the puke. I know what you are thinking; raw deal. Don't worry, it's an inside joke and you aren't suppose to get it. As I was saying, it's a balancing act that I can't give much advice on because, quite frankly, I am still trying to figure it out myself. I know every day that I am very blessed to have a man in my life who supports the goals I have made, probably even more than I do. He once even sent me to our bedroom to do homework when he caught me making faces at the kids! He sacrifices time we could be spending together so that I can pursue my dream. I want a college degree for myself and to improve our future.
My family has sacrificed a lot in order for me to pursue my education. I can not wait to complete this semester with another 4.0 and TAKE THE SUMMER OFF! I am so excited! I plan to have a lot more time for my family. I have some making up to do. They have to deal with a crazy lady for sixteen-week increments. As much as I love being a student and am thoroughly enjoying the learning process, I love being a mom and partner-in-crime for life immensely more. Ninety-three days and counting...
I thought I would go online a couple of times a week, turn in assignments, and have more free time to spend with my family. I was very, very wrong. Looking back, doing a little research before jumping to this decision would have been a great idea. I had no clue that online classes would be INTENSELY more demanding than seated classes. The fact that I went from two or three classes to five classes probably helped that feeling along. I had bitten off more than I could chew.
So, I am going to tell you what I wish I had allowed someone to tell me. Don't do it! Run away! I hope you are still reading, because that was a joke! If you are going to take online classes, you MUST plan ahead. Expect to spend about three hours of your "free" time devoted to schoolwork for EVERY one credit hour; that is per week. So, if you have twelve credit hours (considered full-time) that is thirty-six hours spent pretty much online. That is a job! There will be a lot of online time, reading time (there is a lot of reading), doing assignments, and taking notes. I haven't sat down and figured out the time, but I will tell you this: Expect to be online every night doing schoolwork! If you have a day off of work, you will probably use most of that on schoolwork too. I didn't realize that teachers would be making up for the lack of classroom discussions in an online discussion board. I understand why they do it, I just hadn't planned for it. This adds a significant amount of time online and reading.
Get organized BEFORE the semester starts! So much time is wasted in disorganization. Set yourself up for success. I keep a binder with details of each course between separator tabs; course syllabuses, rubrics, special instructions, pretty much anything you want to be able to access quickly should be readily available. I also have a separate five-subject notebook for each class. You are also going to want to put together a calendar that has ALL of your commitments on it, whether it be related to work, school, or private life (if you are lucky enough to still have one after work and school...good luck with that!) If you take some time at the beginning of the semester to do these things, you will save yourself a lot of time and stress in the long run. Trust me on this one!
Talk to the important people in your life about the commitment you are making. It is going to take sacrifice -- on your part and on theirs. Just ask the wonderful man in my life or my kids, one of which is 99% his and 1% mine. I get the poop and the puke. I know what you are thinking; raw deal. Don't worry, it's an inside joke and you aren't suppose to get it. As I was saying, it's a balancing act that I can't give much advice on because, quite frankly, I am still trying to figure it out myself. I know every day that I am very blessed to have a man in my life who supports the goals I have made, probably even more than I do. He once even sent me to our bedroom to do homework when he caught me making faces at the kids! He sacrifices time we could be spending together so that I can pursue my dream. I want a college degree for myself and to improve our future.
My family has sacrificed a lot in order for me to pursue my education. I can not wait to complete this semester with another 4.0 and TAKE THE SUMMER OFF! I am so excited! I plan to have a lot more time for my family. I have some making up to do. They have to deal with a crazy lady for sixteen-week increments. As much as I love being a student and am thoroughly enjoying the learning process, I love being a mom and partner-in-crime for life immensely more. Ninety-three days and counting...
Monday, February 10, 2014
Growing Up Too Fast
This is a subject that is very dear to my heart. My daughter is twelve. She will be a teenager this year, and although sometimes I wonder if she will ever grow up, I am thankful that she is far from the other end of the spectrum on this subject. It baffles me that I see these "little girls" running around in tiny dresses, high heels, short shorts, and shirts that show their mid-sections. I don't understand it.
Last year, when my daughter was only in the sixth grade, she brought home a flyer advertising a school dance. It would have been her first in middle school. I remember this innocent statement, "Mom, I need a dress." I asked her why..."Because, it says we have to dress up, so I have to wear a dress." I explained to her that it just meant she should look nice, put together. She was eleven. "Can I wear make-up?" I didn't have to think about the answer. NO. I know some parents think that it's a special occasion and that it isn't a big deal; and I know it is not my place to judge, but my personal opinion, which luckily is the one that matters in this situation, is that she is too young. Besides, she doesn't need it. She is beautiful all on her own.
My girl went to her dance in a nice pair of gray dress slacks, a respectable, cute top that covered all her bits and pieces, a flower in her hair, and my bracelet, necklace, and earrings. She looked adorable. She looked eleven! There weren't any kids standing outside when I dropped her off for the dance, because it was a cold night, and I imagine all the kids headed right inside rather than waiting for their friends to show up like I did when I was a kid.
I was mortified at what I saw when I picked her up after the dance. All the kids were standing outside waiting for their rides to get there. I was floored at all these MIDDLE SCHOOL CHILDREN dressed in incredibly high heels, even shorter skirts and dresses; some of which didn't even have a coat on. So, when does it become a big deal? It's a special occasion, so let her show EVERYTHING? My daughter got in the car, and the first thing she told me was, "Mom, my friend was so gross. Her dress was so short every time she moved we could see her butt." Thank goodness my daughter didn't think this look was "cute."
I called the school the following week and asked them what their dress policy is for attending a dance. They didn't have one. I understand that it is 100% a parent's responsibility to provide good judgment when deciding what they will allow their daughters to leave the house in, but shouldn't the school have a say in what they allow inside? I understand that it means probably 80% of the girls at that dance would have been sent home. Their stand was, if the parents allow it, what can we do. You can send their butt home for inappropriate attire! I bet if they want to come to the next dance, and be allowed to stay, they will think about what they are wearing, even if their parents don't!
I do not understand.
I hear moms say, "I want to be her friend so she will always talk to me." What is it you want them to talk about? The fact that they think it's okay to want a baby at twelve and thirteen years old? That they want birth control before they even get into high school? Don't get me wrong, open communication is crucial to being able to address your child's issues as they come up, but being their friend and allowing them to wear whatever they want is most certainly NOT the answer. Surely there must be a better way. We have plenty of time to be our child's friend when they are grown.
I know that life is busy and sometimes you just don't want to go through the fight. I get it. When I took my daughter school shopping this year it took a couple of hours just to find some shorts that didn't show her thighs, or the top of her bottom. For me, it's worth the search, the huffing and puffing, and if it gets to an argument, we leave the store with no clothes. Period. Regardless of what the television, magazines, or their peers are saying, we need to allow our children to be children. They have the rest of their lives to be adults. Our daughters should be focusing on school, learning how to be independent, strong females. Boys will always be there; their childhood will not.
Last year, when my daughter was only in the sixth grade, she brought home a flyer advertising a school dance. It would have been her first in middle school. I remember this innocent statement, "Mom, I need a dress." I asked her why..."Because, it says we have to dress up, so I have to wear a dress." I explained to her that it just meant she should look nice, put together. She was eleven. "Can I wear make-up?" I didn't have to think about the answer. NO. I know some parents think that it's a special occasion and that it isn't a big deal; and I know it is not my place to judge, but my personal opinion, which luckily is the one that matters in this situation, is that she is too young. Besides, she doesn't need it. She is beautiful all on her own.
My girl went to her dance in a nice pair of gray dress slacks, a respectable, cute top that covered all her bits and pieces, a flower in her hair, and my bracelet, necklace, and earrings. She looked adorable. She looked eleven! There weren't any kids standing outside when I dropped her off for the dance, because it was a cold night, and I imagine all the kids headed right inside rather than waiting for their friends to show up like I did when I was a kid.
I was mortified at what I saw when I picked her up after the dance. All the kids were standing outside waiting for their rides to get there. I was floored at all these MIDDLE SCHOOL CHILDREN dressed in incredibly high heels, even shorter skirts and dresses; some of which didn't even have a coat on. So, when does it become a big deal? It's a special occasion, so let her show EVERYTHING? My daughter got in the car, and the first thing she told me was, "Mom, my friend was so gross. Her dress was so short every time she moved we could see her butt." Thank goodness my daughter didn't think this look was "cute."
I called the school the following week and asked them what their dress policy is for attending a dance. They didn't have one. I understand that it is 100% a parent's responsibility to provide good judgment when deciding what they will allow their daughters to leave the house in, but shouldn't the school have a say in what they allow inside? I understand that it means probably 80% of the girls at that dance would have been sent home. Their stand was, if the parents allow it, what can we do. You can send their butt home for inappropriate attire! I bet if they want to come to the next dance, and be allowed to stay, they will think about what they are wearing, even if their parents don't!
I do not understand.
I hear moms say, "I want to be her friend so she will always talk to me." What is it you want them to talk about? The fact that they think it's okay to want a baby at twelve and thirteen years old? That they want birth control before they even get into high school? Don't get me wrong, open communication is crucial to being able to address your child's issues as they come up, but being their friend and allowing them to wear whatever they want is most certainly NOT the answer. Surely there must be a better way. We have plenty of time to be our child's friend when they are grown.
I know that life is busy and sometimes you just don't want to go through the fight. I get it. When I took my daughter school shopping this year it took a couple of hours just to find some shorts that didn't show her thighs, or the top of her bottom. For me, it's worth the search, the huffing and puffing, and if it gets to an argument, we leave the store with no clothes. Period. Regardless of what the television, magazines, or their peers are saying, we need to allow our children to be children. They have the rest of their lives to be adults. Our daughters should be focusing on school, learning how to be independent, strong females. Boys will always be there; their childhood will not.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Guided Freewrite -- My Personal Credo
In my English class, we are being assigned to, on our blog, compose a personal credo that distills our unique approach to life into a short statement...no more than 250 words. To prepare for this assignment, tonight's blog is simply a "freewrite" detailing ideas and examples of how I think I should live my life. First I had to find out what a credo was.
Step 1: Ask someone what a credo is.
Step 2: Google "personal credo" to see if what he told me was right...and he was.
It's been a long day, so after a nice, warm, refreshing shower that allowed me some quiet time to think about what is important to me in terms of how I want to live my life; this is what I have come up with, in no particular order:
Love and trust in God
also teach your children the love of God so they will never feel truly alone
Live with purpose
let your actions and your choices reflect the purpose that drives you
Love unconditionally without fear or hesitation
love with your whole heart or don't love at all, it should never be conditional
Give more than you could ever hope to receive
realize that you get much more out of giving than receiving
Find something positive in every situation
even hardships have something positive, even if nothing more than a lesson learned
Always have a thirst for knowledge
never stop learning in life
Recognize life's little blessings as they come
don't get so busy with life that you can't see the blessings in front of you
no matter how small they may appear
Live with Integrity
have strong moral principles that you pass on to your children
Listen more intensely and more often than you speak
a tough one for lil miss jabber jaws, but always listen actively, engage
Always be honest and trustworthy
don't ever give anyone a reason to doubt you, for if you do, you have lost everything
Follow through on promises
you never want to see a look of disappointment because you didn't follow through
Show your children love so they will recognize it when they see and feel it
make sure they know how to love themselves first, only then can they give love to others
Be encouraging and uplifting in every possible situation
leave your mark on this world with the way you made a difference to someone else
Something I learned in a read is that it is better to start with too much and trim down to the "meat" of my text...this blog (before this last paragraph) was a little over 400 words. My next step will be to research other creed's and reflect on them, and then begin to narrow my personal creed.
Step 1: Ask someone what a credo is.
Step 2: Google "personal credo" to see if what he told me was right...and he was.
It's been a long day, so after a nice, warm, refreshing shower that allowed me some quiet time to think about what is important to me in terms of how I want to live my life; this is what I have come up with, in no particular order:
Love and trust in God
also teach your children the love of God so they will never feel truly alone
Live with purpose
let your actions and your choices reflect the purpose that drives you
Love unconditionally without fear or hesitation
love with your whole heart or don't love at all, it should never be conditional
Give more than you could ever hope to receive
realize that you get much more out of giving than receiving
Find something positive in every situation
even hardships have something positive, even if nothing more than a lesson learned
Always have a thirst for knowledge
never stop learning in life
Recognize life's little blessings as they come
don't get so busy with life that you can't see the blessings in front of you
no matter how small they may appear
Live with Integrity
have strong moral principles that you pass on to your children
Listen more intensely and more often than you speak
a tough one for lil miss jabber jaws, but always listen actively, engage
Always be honest and trustworthy
don't ever give anyone a reason to doubt you, for if you do, you have lost everything
Follow through on promises
you never want to see a look of disappointment because you didn't follow through
Show your children love so they will recognize it when they see and feel it
make sure they know how to love themselves first, only then can they give love to others
Be encouraging and uplifting in every possible situation
leave your mark on this world with the way you made a difference to someone else
Something I learned in a read is that it is better to start with too much and trim down to the "meat" of my text...this blog (before this last paragraph) was a little over 400 words. My next step will be to research other creed's and reflect on them, and then begin to narrow my personal creed.
My Response to the Know Your Audience Discussion Board (Guided Post)
The Know Your
Audience discussion board was an interesting and enjoyable experience for
me. I can’t think of a better way to get a glimpse into each others lives,
considering the learning environment we are in. This being an online course, we
don’t have the opportunity to all sit in the same room and discuss our
thoughts, ideas, passions, or desires week after week. The Internet is our classroom.
Collectively, we all managed to come up with
questions that, when combined, would teach us something about one another's
past, present, and future. We all wrote fondly about our favorite childhood
cartoon; of which Scooby-Doo shone above all others of equal entertainment value. I
thought this was a great question, because I have no doubt that while each of
us sat at our computers, pondering the question, we each had a smile on our faces
and thoughts of simpler times running through our heads. Speaking of laughing,
there was another question about what makes each of us laugh. It was a pretty
even split where half of us identified a specific person, or people, in our
lives and the other half detailed something on television. It would have been
nice to see more people associate their laughter coming from those around them,
because I think it is important to have people in your life who truly make you
laugh. I have been blessed with three children who all make me laugh in their
own way, and a special man in our lives whose smile and laugh is completely
infectious.
How we spend our free time was also an even split.
Half of us spend that time with our friends and family, while the other half
enjoy some sort of entertainment such as movies, video games, and music. I
imagine that those who answered with “things” rather than people also share
their pastimes with important people in their lives.
I was not surprised, being that our school in
Missouri, that the St. Louis Cardinals received the most votes for a favorite
sports team and found it interesting that after college half of our class plans
to stay in this area, while the other half is open to or is planning to move on
in all different directions.
Going into this exercise, I expected to see a lot of
different answers, and I was not disappointed. I believe if you walk into a
room and ask each person what song best represents them, what their major
course of study is, or what their lifelong dream is, you will get a room-full
of varying answers. Overall, most of our answers were vastly different. It made
perfect sense. We are all individuals cut from a different cloth. Where we have
been, where we are now, and where we are headed is a culmination of our entire
lives up until this point. It is wonderful to see so many people, all from
different backgrounds and having different life experiences, come together and
actively participate in this class, and overall in our education. We could have
chosen to simply answer the question to get the grade and move on to the next
question. That isn't what happened. We expanded our answers and provided explanations
where they weren’t required. This showed me that we don’t have to be just like one
another to be able to relate to each other for purposes of communication. We
have shared pieces of ourselves with one another, showed support, encouragement, and given advice to each other.
I had much lower expectations about online classes as a whole. I didn't expect to get to know anyone. In fact, reality is the opposite. I have better insight into the people that make up ENG-101-W05 than I have had in any other SEATED class in my four semesters at OTC. I am proud to say that I am a part of this fine group of
people and I look forward to seeing where this class takes us.
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